Young Person - The Lookout

Violence and Abuse can happen to anybody. Domestic Abuse happens when one person hurts or bullies another person who…

Is their partner (boyfriend/ girlfriend or wife/husband)
Was their partner
Is in the same family (including step-families)
It can happen when people live together or when people live in different houses.
Usually (but not always) it is the male who hurts the female.
Domestic abuse can happen in grown up or teenage relationships.
Domestic abuse can happen in families and it can happen to one member of the family or several members of family.
Children and young people can be affected by the abuse that they see and hear. They can also be hurt or bullied as part of the domestic abuse.

There are many different types of abuse. Young People at The Lookout have defined the different types of domestic abuse to be…

When you are in a relationship with someone…..

Isolation

Always wanting to know who you are with, when, where – everything! Not allowing you to learn the native language, stopping you from seeing family and friends, having no choices! checking your facebook/ mobile phone, not letting you be yourself

Physical

Burns, blood, bruises, slapping, death, force, stabbing, smashing, kicking, hair pulling, bites, strangling, using weapons, throwing, pushing

Threats

Smashing things, bullying, intimidation, threat-ening to hurt you, threatening to hurt them-selves so you feel bad

Harrassment and stalking

Emotional

Name calling, blackmail, making you lie, telling you not to tell someone, the abusive person blaming the other person or the children, making you feel bad, Blaming you

Sexual

Calling a person sexual names, Rape, Filming sex, or taking photographs of a persons body without their permission or sending them to other people, telling their friends about sex, making you do things you don’t want to do, making you have sex when you’re not ready to, refusing to use contraception

When abuse is happening in your family …..

Physical

Burns, blood, bruises, slapping, death, force, stabbing, smashing, kicking, hair pulling, bites, strangling, using weapons, throwing, pushing
Taking away your food, locking you in your room.

Threats

Smashing things, bullying, intimidation, threat-ening to hurt you or someone else, threatening to hurt themselves so you feel bad.

Emotional

Name calling, blackmail, making you lie, telling you not to tell someone, the abusive person blaming the other person or your siblings, making you feel bad, blaming you, threatening to break up your family, threatening to send you away.

Sexual

Calling a person sexual names, rape, making you do things you don’t want to do, touching you inappropriately, making sexual comments about you.

Individual sessions with a support worker

Where your support worker will arrange to meet with you, either at school or another safe place and will talk with you about how you are feeling and how to keep safe. Your support worker can also help support you to get help you might need from other organisations.

Group and peer support

We provide group programmes called ‘The Lookout Programme’, ‘Helping Hands’ and ‘The Children and Young Peoples Recovery Toolkit’, you will be able to meet other young people who have been exposed to abuse within their family and meet new friends.

The Lookout Youth Club

We have a youth club where you can hang out with other young people who are going through similar things. You can share your experiences and take part in group games, art projects and activities.

Advocacy and court support

The Lookout can help you report abuse. If you need to go to court, we can support you. We can arrange a visit to the court before the trial so you can have a look around. We can also attend court with you.

Fun activities

These include trips to the cinema, bowling, ice skating and other stuff where you can enjoy being yourself. Young people vote on activities they would like to do, at The Lookout you can have your say!

Understand what domestic abuse is
Identify abusive and non – abusive behaviour
Develop a safety a plan
Manage what’s going on at home or in your relationship
Respond to your feelings safely
Seek help
Talk about it
Identify people you can trust
Respond to domestic abuse incidents
Report domestic abuse incidents and be supported through the criminal justice system
Ensure your voice is heard when decisions are made
Prepare to leave an abusive relationship/ escape family violence with your non – abusive parent safely
Find emergency accommodation
Be supported whilst living in a Refuge
Recover
Understand the differences between healthy and unhealthy relationships
Understand the impact domestic abuse has on children (for young people who are parents)
We can provide equipment for personal safety and provide security lock packages

If something happens at home and you don’t want anyone to know you have called the emergency services for help, you can text 999 instead.
Send a free text message to register your phone so you can use this service if you need to. To do this text: ‘Register’ to 999.
You will receive a text back telling you about the service. When you have read the text respond by sending a text saying ‘Yes’ to 999. You will receive a second text confirming that you are registered.
Have battery on your mobile.
Have safe numbers stored.
Work out where your safe places are, a safe place could be a hiding place at home, a school, a youth club, a friend’s house – anywhere you feel safe, or where the person you are worried about can’t hurt you.
Identify safe people. This may include family members, friends, teachers, neighbours and anyone else you might know who you can trust to help you and not hurt you.
If you don’t want to go with someone or do something, have a safe excuse. For example a dentist or doctor’s appointment, a friend or family member who will be checking up on you.
The Lookout will help you put a safety plan together to help protect you.

Email the-lookout@p-a-c.org.uk
Calling us on 01282 619192
Sending us a text on 07543 646 959
Visiting our facebook page